please don't be a stranger in my place | lukemitchwest's Blog

So shortly after I broke up with Becx I started thinking about Emily. Emily was someone I went out with for four years, from when I was sixteen to twenty, basically. We broke up almost 2 years ago. In my lowest moments [or "lowments"] I'd be convinced that I had never gotten over her, and the fact that I occasionally ask my friends about her probably has them convinced too. Really though? I don't think so. I think I'm just curious as all hell about what she's up to and the fact that I haven't spoken to her in a million years just adds to it. I also hella respect her because she just went and found a whole new group of friends and started from scratch and that takes some balls. I've spent the last week considering getting back in touch and how to do so in a way that doesn't make it look like I'm after her or anything. Bit the bullet, did it, meeting her tomorrow.

A few hours after I bit the bullet and messaged her I had a look through my dream journal, something I've never really done. I should maybe upload it all here. It goes back through various dreams all the way to 2009. There are a lot of dreams about her or involving her. I reconsidered meeting her. All these dreams. What do they mean? Maybe I'm really not over her. Maybe my curiosity about her really is just that deep.  Maybe both of those things are dumb and I should look at each dream on an individual basis. Maybe not one of those three statements means jack shit because no matter what I dream about what matters is how I actually feel, and how I actually feel is a harmless, indifferent curiosity. Hm. Writing that helped me decide just there.  

I was thinking of joining a salsa dancing class to meet new people. I need to have someone to go with. I have a few people in mind.

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